teran despuine

so im still up... been sick all weekend and staying up late hours trying to get my candidacy review materials done. I am so worn out. I will say i'm doing a better job then kinko's did last time... Im either on the money or only off by a 16th if not less...and its in areas that don't affect the design so they can be clipped. Kinko's was off by and 8th and cutting off design material.... oyvey.
So I worked on a junk weapon for Austin the guy who played our slasher character in "Devil in the Details" for a play he is in at the end of this week. It's like King Lear but in a junk yard. So I made him a design that has been in my head for several years now... but never did it.














It's a converted pipe bender. It can not only bend pipes and rebar but has a handy spring loaded trigger welded onto it for a the retractable blades. you can hack and slash those pesky junkyard villains at will. (Trigger engineered and welded by Marcus Lamontagne). And for those hard to reach places we have a prybar end. Wether it be prying upon crates, pulling out a nail, getting open that door or just stabbing another pesky zombie...it comes in handy. Added feature is this nice rubber tubing insulated handle. Grabbing it renders you protected against shock, heat or cold. If I had more time and money I would've also recast the head in a silicon base and made the head bigger like a hammer to smash things. Don't get me it still hurts if you hit anyone.. but would be better with a bigger head.
His friends liked it alot and so did his director. But now his director is feeling some kind of penis envy. He thinks his weapons for the play are miniscule in comparison and told Austin he may make him not use it. This ticks me off, because he told the guys to go out and make their own weapons.. and this would be the second thing I've made that didn't get used due to something NOT happening... anyway.. It's kind of hard for that weapon to look miniscule considering Austin is like 6,7.... TALL, BIG guy. I told him to tell his director... "Since I am the king... I should have the excalibur of junk yard weapons... and this weapon would be it." That should take care of the issue.
On the note of "Devil in the Details", I don't think I ever posted a link to it.. but here it is.. and It's still under private and It I will be dropping off soon, since it will be sent to festivals.. if you want to view it..
http://www.vimeo.com/3853728
password: reality tv 26
just like it is spelled with the spaces between the words.

when you start to see monitor lines on everything, you know you need to go to bed.. so be it...

todeo

So I'm working on my Candidacy review stuff again. Have to turn in materials on the 23. So I'm cleaning up thanks to some friends and separating it into two books for ease of reading. I have to get it done and pass this time. Prof Sears said" well if you failed last time because of poor grammar typically they go straight to it and then pass you." It's funny, but I don't like that idea. That sounds easy when I know my work is better then that. So I requested he give me a new committee, but I have to keep one person from the old. I want some directors on this committee who know how to give me a proper critique of my work and knows what is going on. So i got that going on. I do have to thank my friend The Portreeve ... he proof read my work and fixed the grammar. Thanks man. Your a good friend.
Also doing a recorded pitch thrus... great and my producer is making me do the talking. oh well. I will need to watch for the s's and the accent.
Also had another dream bugging me from last night. Of course It was crazy considering i went to a party last night drank 3 beers and tequila sour and ate 2 donut burgers, 2 pieces of cake and lots of chips... so weird dreams are expected. The dream situated me three different versions. One was of a businessman who gets caught up in a financial exchange dealing with a group of psychotic killer who enjoy torturing people and expected me to join. They were telling me I was like them and that it was the only home for me... part of it sounded crazy but they had good arguments... but as I gained my composure from this madness the last mummified woman closest to the door I was sneaking out of turned to me and said " or you are the tiger." This kind of shook me considering this has been referenced in several other dreams during interesting times in my life. Those dreams had people either saying "or are you the tiger?" or were me becoming a tiger or me hiding the fact I am a tiger. It's a re-occurring reference. It just makes me jumpy. But for some reason I felt great today after waking up from all of it.

This probably one of the most flattering responses I've received about "Devil in the Details".

-" i actually felt better about the fact that their are student filmmakers that make me think about the film and the story after i finish watching.

i didn't go to the showcase this quarter because every time i go, i come out of trustees saying 'well that was their waste of thier money and my time'.

'Devil in the detail' gave me chills. good story and great lighting that actually gives a distinct mood rather than 'academic.' no matter how great the acting would be....there is nothing that you can do with actors that viewers can recognize since it does make me think

'oh i've seen that man.... hey that's annika!'

but i guess it'd be the same thing if we go see 'fast and furious' and knew paul walker from high school.

kudos good sir!

best regards
Sun


My friend Blair and I are both excited to be working together again on my thesis this summer. He feels like he has to one up the lighting in Devil, but I keep telling him because he does his homework, he already is doing better. There are some people you can get excited about working together with and right now my dp, script supervisor, and producer we are all excited and working hard to our goal. My chair is happy about me picking him and the topic adviser I spoke to this morning told me he was honored to work on it. Coincidentally my chair is a Michael, My topic is Michael and I'm a Michael. I hope three Michael's can't go wrong.
I am putting alot of effort and alot of time into this. I have been growing and still wish to keep growing as a director. The environment and their costumes will heavily affect their character and the feeling for the film.
I may sound like I am tooting my own horn, but it is spring and I have to keep my spirits up. Our film deserves it. We will have our website up hopefully by the end of the week. I have a recorded pitch I have to do in 3 weeks for the site, and to find investors and actors. We are already considering cross promotional work and linking some aspect of this with Father's day to get people to notice it.

So much to do... so much to do... and the samurai film isn't even finished yet.=)


todeo

I think it is funny that someone is complaining about how much of MY money I am spending on MY film. Maybe it's because I care about MY work. Passion drives me... if we start putting limits on how much we spend then they have to start telling the students who own their own equipment that they can't use it, even though they spent THEIR OWN money on it.
I'm not a rich person. I have worked my butt off to get here at this point in my life. I am poor and I am heavily in debt with loans for pursuing my passion for film and my goal of being a film director. So if for some reason I have foresight enough to set aside a portion of my own financial aid for my final project.... i don't want to hear you bitch, because you didn't do that. Especially when your getting your name for free on a project.. I'm financing and doing alot of the preproduction on which you did not help out with at all.
I just get tired of this endless child like squabble some film students get themselves into. We are suppose to be professionals or at least act like professionals with our final goal in mind and team work as our most important tool. In film one cannot do it with out help. It really is one of those fields were it is heavily dependent on team work.

Sorry... I needed to blow off some steam. Thank god I keep copies of all of my project work. I now have to put all of my budget and receipts together in a nice neat notebook to show some higher ups that I spent my money on my project and defend the freedom of a students creativity over some student who is a spoiled rich brat whose parents don't give him everything he wants and he doesn't know how to work for it.

todeo

Wow this past weekend was a fun except for the 2 assholes who didn't want to do anything and this is suppose to be a group project. Having people crew disappear for a bit in the bamboo gardens is one thing.. but disappearing and finding them smoking pot. No unacceptable.
What is worse is having them conspiring because they don't want to do any work. Sunday... they did nothing but try to undermine me and argue about moving set walls around. Hell the two bastards were late and didn't even help us bring them into the studio.. so what the fuck are they bitching about when we have to move 1 wall around. The big wall stayed in it's spot. one little wall moved. There is alot more that went on during this production with the 2 jerks.. but I just want to move on. I got the footage I wanted. The film is being edited right now. So I'm happy it got done.
Sometimes I get passionate.. while other times... i get really passionate. This film was the culmination of some passion that was kicked out of me the review last quarter and then sorta pushed when I directed Chase's thesis "Devil in the Details". But a good friend had a conversation with me and re-lit that fire. Thanks Treadway. He also lent me his Director's viewfinder. Thank you so much buddy. This project is a story I felt I needed to tell. I had to make some sacrifices. Our budget was high (almost 2g's), but we kept it under it. We built walls for the set. I designed 3 walls for dual sided use. One side exteriors, other side interiors. I have picks of the construction of it on facebook. I'm at the library now so i can't post those.. but i can post some pics from part of the shoot. Also I found the make up artists since one of the jerks was the producer and he sucked. I found the actors...again producer sucked.. and yes I had to sew the costumes.. because the producer sucked. I could not give up on this project. I also have to say thank you to Marcus Lamontagne. He let us build our sets at his shop and use his tools. He also built almost all the props. My art director failed and he picked up the ball. Marcus you RAWK! Also his two roommates are the the samurai and the monk in the picks Phil made the sacrifice and cut his hair. All three helped us move sets every day of shooting, to the locations, at the locations and leaving the locations. These guys believed in me and made it HAPPEN. They have my eternal gratitude.
This quarter we will have a rough cut, because jeff and i want to shoot one more quick funny scene for the film, but can't do it till we have funds again and the time. Next quarter Yoichi will help clean up dialogue and maybe do some ADR. Since it is in English we want to do a Japanese dub of it and possibly a Chinese dub. Hell we are thinking about leaving subtitles on in English even when they are speaking English for shits and giggles. But we are still working that out. I'm also only putting a temporary sound track on it till I can get someone to do the music for it. Some quirky drum and flute music would be cool.
So until it is complete at least enjoy a few camera phone shots.

So this has been one helluva quarter. So so busy. I directed a thesis film at the beginning and now.. well now I'm directing a period piece film (samurai comedy). I've spent the last 4 weeks building sets, getting actors, crew, and sewing costumes. Yes. My producer and art director didn't get me a costumer so... i had to do it myself this past weekend. This has been a real learning experience. We shoot this weekend and I'm still one actor down. The head monk. No one wants to shave their head... so I may have to do it... just for my film to get made. I don't want to direct myself. I hate directing myself. I've never directed myself. So this will be a real challenge. I hope someone falls out of the sky to do this for me. Count down to shaving.... tomorrow night.
When we are done I will post all the pictures we have taken so far of our work. If you want to see them now... look at them on facebook.
todeo

yes I'm back. I needed a breather to collect my thoughts. one of the things I've realized in my searching is that I became somewhat dependent on the replies on here. When I started on here back in 2000, that is not how it was. I have over time forgotten the purpose for using this journal.. not completely, but at least how IT affected me. So in order to help curb this approach I'm going back to basic and treating it like a real journal would be. I will no longer be allowing comments on my entries unless it has to do with a question I pose or opinion on something I've made. Otherwise all other things will be directed as my thoughts in 1's and 0's.

My last entry showed some hurt anger I was feeling at that time. Some things that had been dormant for a while and other things that recently happened. Originally it was intended as a PRIVATE Post, but in the process of writing it I decided that why keep it private when it is my journal. If that were the case then why type a journal online in the first place. My emotions and feelings are my own and I will not apologize for them. Apologizing for having an emotional reaction is like apologizing for being born... it happens, you deal with growing up and experiences for the rest of your life and every one else just has to see how it develops. (not a good analogy but who ever said I was a good writer.)

I know some others who may have gotten hurt by reading it. I will not apologize for the way they feel either and they do not need to apologize for their emotions either. Chaos theory in motion. But I think one thing has been forgotten about a journal. It is an outlet for the expression of your own thoughts, no matter who they are of, what they are about or why they are there. We tip toe through life worrying about dropping concrete blocks of words on our friends and family when we should be more worried about actually dropping concrete blocks on them. Sometimes venting is MEANT to let steam out otherwise you get a bottle neck and everything will explode.

Also if friendships were meant to last, then connections of some sort no matter how slim the wire would've been made ignoring the call not to even if it happened later down the line. Bridges are not mended by blowing the rest of the bridge up if a pot hole is found. If that were the case then the intention to tear down the bridge was always there just needed reason enough to remodel.

Anyway. Classes have started. I am trying to tie up things for the Thesis film shoot over the next 3 weekends. Sometimes you get surprise delights like jerkstein NOT teaching a field production class spring quarter so you can take it and then others like someone telling they are shooting a feature and possibly be willing to pay you to work on it with them... and it might count towards internship...(that one still in the works because it might affect when I shoot my thesis.)
Just depends. Might post pics of the Lorax Axe. Just depends.

todeo

Go see Australia.... Go now!



Drop your Christmas lights.... drop your nut cracker and your turkey stick..
now. see it Now!

So after failing my review, I've been moving forward working on other projects not allowing other things to foul up my sensibility. Recently I gave someone many opportunities to promote themselves and they haven't shown their desire for it with action... but gave plenty of talk. Well I think I've given more chances then I should've. So I'm moving on.
On another note; after reviewing my thesis script some more and trying to figure out a way of shortening it... I sorta hit a brick wall. So I had a friend and damn good writer look over my script and give me a critique. He likes boxing more than I do and he is a great writer. He gave me honest and good suggestions. But since I've had to come to certain decisions about my focus on directing, I have to do the same here.

I decided since I hit a brick wall to let him have a whack at writing a draft of the script. We had a meeting yesterday to discuss the main points of the script. He told me my idea is still to broad, because it is a feature film idea. Some items I'm discussing in my script seem a little vague especially the line that links the theme with connection to the audience. The theme comes out in the story, but it seems too big for a short film to answer. We broke it down into themes, conflicts(least important to most important) and then most information in the story. He told me my story was two short films crammed into one. He explained how it is hard for script writers and movie makers these days to write shorts since we've only grown up in the 22min-2.5 hour film world. The world of the film epic and how it makes hard to think outside of that large scale. We discussed it and he told me not to throw away the idea, but just to put it aside for now and to pick one of the two stories for him to write for my short film. He said I could have a few days to think about it, but I decided the longer I think about it, the more I would doubt it and it needed to get rolling soon. So gave myself 15 minutes and made a decision.

My script is still a boxing script, but we are going with the secondary plot as the main plot for the short, because I have more material for it already written down. I'm also sticking by my guns of having a boxing film without a boxing match. So if I go with his story, my theme will be different and very likely become a kids film.

Even though I've made the decision and know what needed to be done to shorten the film, I am also feeling like I'm betraying the theme I wanted to tell. If this was my last and only short film, then I would want to tell the other theme as it is the most important. But I have to wait for his draft and then read it and decide. I just feel like the short format is making not tell the story I want to tell. I'm feeling bad about it. I will also have to get new storyboards, shot lists and some locations. This means the scenes I used for my review as test scenes are now null and void. I will have to find time to shoot new test scenes. I will also have to reanalyze my script.

This review and this quarter have thoroughly been draining. And now my review is going to be even harder to put together next time, because of what I decided. I want the best script possible to tell the story i want, so it means more work.

I think I am depressed over this and/or I feel like I've lost confidence in my work. But for me to get better at directing I need to focus on directing. So after finishing the ax for the Lorax and the masks for Aaron's thesis in the spring.. i will not be making any more armor or costume stuff until I'm done with college. I want to direct and these hobbies are distracting me from moving forward.

I have to move forward... even though I don't like it.

At least I feel confident in my decisions on Chase's film so far.

Colorgenics Test

You work hard, seeking success. You are self-sufficient and in spite of all the trials and tribulations that have beset you in the past you carry on regardless.. You are one to be admired because you pursue your objectives single-mindedly and with initiative. You know that you can 'do it' and what is more, you will - without necessarily being dependent upon the goodwill of others.

Being a somewhat gentle, emotional and sensitive person, you are at this time experiencing a considerable amount of tension. What you really need is someone who can be close to you and to listen to what you have to say.

Conditions are rather confusing at this time. You would like to involved with a particular person or a particular situation, but you are holding back. You find it difficult to make a decision.

You are pretending that the situation around you doesn't matter, but the effort of trying to conceal your emotions and anxieties is resulting in untold stress. The existing situation is disagreeable. You feel unwanted and lonely and you would really like to associate with someone whose ideals are as high as your own. You want to be above the standard of mediocrity and this need to be needed and that need to need has almost become an obsession. You are trying to magnify the need into a compelling urge. You would really like to tell the world how great you are but no, you are holding back because you feel that your peers may treat you with contempt. This is a great pity because you have in fact a unique quality of character, but the continual restraint that you impose on yourself makes you suppress this need for others and you pretend you don't really care. You treat those who criticise you with contempt. However, to be honest, beneath this assumption of indifference you really long for the approval and esteem of others.

You need to be respected as an exceptional individual. This is the only way that you can hope to achieve the status that you wish to achieve. You set yourself very high standards - and come what may - you abide by them.

People in general have low work ethic. I don't blame them entirely considering how our society has evolved into this fast paced, instant gratification, media soaked world. But then again we are also technically on hard times. Moral is down, stress is up, and people are looking for hope in their new icon. Change doesn't happen over night. It is a long process and sometimes you have set backs to help you reconnect to what you lost and re-establish your goal.
I've also been surprised at how many were shocked I failed my review and have approached me to talk about it. This makes me feel like someone cares and actually notices my work or the least me. Especially considering the lack of caring with recent relations over the past few months and our disconnection. Again lose isn't a bad thing. It's a re-establishment of goals, morals and ideals. Think of it as an airing out of the laundry. Sometimes a moth in your closet is not a good thing. No matter if your helping an innocent creature or not.
But having this extra shock is making me become more aware of the importance of grammar. I am also thinking of taking speech or linguistics classes. I really feel some people think I'm stupid, because of my accent. I don't want it to become an issue. On the other hand though I feel if they find my accent that offensive, then fuck them. This is apart of me. It's signifies where I'm from and I don't complain about other people's accents. I digress.
Anyway I have been getting some helpful feedback from the review committee. Or at least from one of them so far. I met with Prof. Bulloch today and he was very informative. Prof. Daniel on the other hand only reiterated what he stated in the review. I am not able to meet with Prof. Hofstein till sometime next week. He is out of town right now.
But soon the quarter will be over.. very soon.

As some of you might not know... I did not pass my Candidacy Review on Friday. I understand why the decision was made and I was told why. But that does not match up to what was written on the review evaluation forms.
I was failed, because of my poor grammar skills. Ironically I had a friend go over my artist statement and I followed his suggestions(he passed) and apparently I did not get all the mistakes. They made me understand how important proper use of grammar is in the film industry and as an M.F.A. representing this school. Proper grammar at my age should be second nature. In the industry due to the large volume of resumes and scripts sent in one of the first things Executive producers, managers and employers look at is grammar. They might let one mistake slide, but no more then that. If more then one mistake is found, they will throw it away, giving it no second thought. So proper grammar is very important. They said to me "fix the grammar issue and we will pass you."
They then pointed out a few minor design issues with my DVD booklet: (all of this pointed out by Hofstein)
1. this should say Demo DVD Chapters not just DVD CHAPTERS.(its the only dvd in the case.)
2. Maybe move a few headings over here to the top instead of there on the side.
3. The page with all of the artists statement... make it more pleasing to the eye. invite us to read
it, so spread it out or change the font size.
4. 2 clips you have on the DVD have some color bleeding issues at the beginning and one some low contrast issue. "Nathan Blair was your dp? That is a problem he always had." Easy fixes you can throw a filter on in post.

This was it. All. I was a little confused, but I think it was mostly due the word "Failure" being on my mind. They asked me if I had any questions. I asked " did you read my thesis script?" They kind of looked at each other and then Hofstein said " what are all of the markings on the script?
I informed him that that is the director's analysis of the script. In each scene I have to locate the emotional turns, pivotal beats, facts, decisions and actions. This will allow me to communicate it to the actors while on set. "Well next time just give us a clean script." That is it. all. nothing more. ca-put.
I think Bulloch sensed my feelings and interjected "I do have to say this though, of all the students I've come across you have the strongest work ethic. Some of the students don't care, but you really give it your all. A strong work ethic is very important." He looked at the other two and they shook their heads up and down and agreed.
I shook their hands, thanked them for the information and walked out.

Well I got the evaluation form and didn't think to look over it while I was there. I just wanted to leave. Later that afternoon, 3pm, I pulled out the forms and read them. The majority of my marks were "needs improvement", "unsatisfactory" and a couple of "average" marks. This blew me away. Then I saw the last page:
My strength was the ability to accept criticism. My weaknesses were listed as follows:
1. "Unsatisfactory presentation of work."
2. "Inadequate thesis preparation."
3. "Unsatisfactory Directing work."


They never brought up directing material or thesis material. Since I was still in a state of shock I didn't ask. In my thesis preparation I included in my 35 page DVD booklet:
A. a script, my analysis of the script, two scenes shot for the purpose of testing shot design, a storyboard, and information on the conceptual style of the film.

(No one else in my department has shot their scenes in advance to test shot design. I HAVE! I know how important it is.)

They never mentioned my directing ability or information. In my DVD booklet, under each of the projects I had various bits of information which included:
Storyboards, shot lists, camera diagrams, lined scripts and a poster or two.
On the Dvd are:
8 clips from short films. All of which I have directed and only 1 shows no interaction between people.


So as you can see I was highly pissed. I wanted to go into a rage and take the Tendorizers sledge hammer to my junk car outside. But I digress. That would be counter productive. So I threw and beat a bunch of pillows, did exercises and contemplated my next move.
My next move has been to write a letter to the guy in charge of the reviews and the chair of the department for a clarification of information that was not communicated to me in the review. I'm not asking them to change their decision, because I know grammar is important. I am just asking for either those two lines be stricken from the evaluation form or at the least a clarification as to why they stated or clarification on information they have NOT communicated to me.

So I'm working on that. Ironically, I've had other students coming up to me telling me that they were shocked to hear I failed and that most of the people that provided books didn't half the information and design work that I had in my DVD booklet or DVD reel. I keep getting that. I didn't think people noticed my work, but apparently they do. Kumar told me later that on Hofstein's set, prof. Hostein walked up to him and said "You did very beautiful work on Chrisco's film 'The Gift'." So it blew Kumar's mind when he heard I failed. Hell Clark even went off today in the lab when I told him and he is Creative Writing major "does it say writing or novella classes on the front of this building. Your a film student. That's insane." The only good thing I can find coming out of all of this is the fact that other students are finding out how hard the review really is and that no matter what you do grammar is important. No matter if you think you have enough material in your booklet, go one step further. Hell my roommate got a glowing review and was told his book for the review was the best they had ever seen. He didn't even start work on the book till he moved in with me and saw what I was doing. He made mention to other students who stepped up their game. (he also paid $560 for his books. I paid $150. That is all I could afford.) But again other people gained something from my experience and that is a positive.
well there is my rant. I'm working it out and I'm also working on my grammar. I'll post pics of fonso later. But instead of a sour note here is a look at the set for the music video.. or portion of it anyway that Rick and James were on for their performances.





limited budget and all the wall still looked nice.

So the weekend of my birthday was fun albeit a stressful one since i was shooting a music video and then rushing to get the rest of my candidacy review materials done. Luckily my sanity was kept by humor of children and industrial goth dudes. Dancing Vampires, bat weilding Princesses and country detectives. What more can you ask for? (photos by Jessica Yang, make-up artist for our set)

Art Director Lynsey touching up the chairs. Purple Power!



Little Miss Ellie our princess. This little girl had so much cuteness mixed with a dash of deviousness. I wish i had a still shot of her chasing James with the plastic bat.



Our Vampire Ian getting his make-up put on. Again another good kid with mischievous nature. He really got into the role of the vampire. He told Rick "when I grow up ill be you."



( a rocka your socka off )

And then i rushed to get candidacy review stuff done. Well at least this weekend i was able to relax. My best friend from Greensboro came down and we hung out. He asked me to take some pictures of him so i did. Here are a couple. I'll post more later.

All my materials have been turned in. I do the interview process next Friday. I hope they understand what i'm doing and the amount of work I've put into it. I also hope i dont get jerkstein in the review. At least the materials are in. Now i can get some sleep. being up so long can take a toll on you.
On a positive note Fonso is visiting till Sunday.. woohooo.
todeo

Just trying to enjoy the last 10 minutes of my birthday after working non stop all weekend on a music video project. It was fun. So much fun and Stress. But a good laugh or two and you forget the stress. I think the kids yesturday and Rick and James all weekend and my good friend Monica helped to make fun. So many funny things those kids did that made the rest of us remember freedom of youth. The little girl Ellie chasing James (nicknamed giant by the kids) with a plastic bat in a princess outfit was just unforgetable. If I can find that clip i might post it. Ian was the little vampire that looked like my brother. He really played up the dracula role. He told Rick " I'm going to grow up to be you." Memorable. Just so much fun and funny stuff. It was even funny when dracula says to me
" i dont want to get in the coffin. There are spiders in there."
Me-" i just checked there aren't any."
Dracula- "there are you just can't see them. I don't like spiders."
Me- "ok you don't have to get in there. Ellie let me see your fingers?"
Princess" Do i get to get in the coffin?"
Me- "well you don't have finger nail polish and your hands are both small"
Princess" YESSSS" (she jumps in the coffin)
Her Mom "is my daughter in that coffin."
Princess" hey mom"
Her mom " My creepie little girl. But she is my wonderful creepy little girl"
* little girl giggle comeing from coffin"

Last of my birthday. Happy Birthday to Me.

been busy lately. really busy with candidacy review(materials due next wed. at 4pm), music video coralling(shooting this weekend yeesh), location scouting for chases thesis(directing it. being shot first 3 weekends of jan). Busy is sometimes good.
But on a down note David had to cancel doing his film. The budget was getting to big for him to afford, cg work to long for crew, moral down because getting hit. He's a good guy and deserves the opportunity to acheive his goal. Unlike some people he works hard at it and doesn't give up.. but then again this just sorta hit by this stuff. Literally. He told me that i can finish up his costume, the girls costume and the villians. What he will do then is have a photoshoot with those costumes for his portfolio and have this stuff there as representational for when the time comes that he can shoot it. That cuts down one thing to finish during christmas(more like 6 things). But i really wanted to finish this stuff so it could be seen on the screen.

in another note dealing with the world and all that is suppose to be happy. FUCK YOU! Im hating people in general right now. No one in particulart.. just at large... also remember this kids" you can go to hell at disney world, but not disneyland." or is it the other way around. i always get those things confused.,

yes great day. found out from Kia... my car has to have the front console wiring harness replaced... total cost $2000.00....yeah.. my car is only worth 800... so looking over some options...
suckage.

so im falling in with the crowd. yikers island.
Take a picture of yourself right now.
Don't change your clothes, don’t fix your hair...just take a picture.
Post that picture with NO editing.
Post these instructions with your picture.





in other news... school started for me back during the summer..with other film work. and with film work continuing spring. DAvid Neals senior thesis that i was building armor for got pushed to winter quarter due to budget issues...so ive got 6 suits in here in various stages of completeness. Waiting for more supplies to show up.

Started working on music video concept for my music video class. Grimepoch has been kind enough to let me do a video based off of one of his pieces of music. so im going as all out as i can. Just need a damn producer to help take some paper work off of me, so i can focus on concept and shots. Its all jumbling around up in the noggin... and i need to focus it. small kids playing vampire and detective, fall colors, flickering projectors, 8mm look and 2 shiney muscians... what more can you want... a grandma rug. PLAID works too...... have an award winning art director on board now, and a good dp....just need to assemble the rest of the crew.

already booking myself full of other work too. If i pass my review i will be directing a sort of horror movie as for someone elses thesis next quarter. They are still working out details script details. Roommate who is writing the script says to me today..
"ok dammit.. were going to act like the 3rd draft doesn't exist. Were going to inject some new blood into this fucking family tree before it becomes incest." I cracked up.
Also will be making masks for another horror film shooting in spring quarter. Might be doing that during winter break and later part of winter quarter. and then i got a minor mask/costume idea im working on in ultra spare spare... you can see its head in the pic above on the shelf. just fiddling.

speaking of review. Been busting my butt lately to get stuff ready for it. find out it will not be till nov. so im kinda gonna slow down on it a bit. booklet (85-90 % done) support book is technically done. and dvd still gotta work on it. Reshooting a test scene next sunday from my thesis for the review. I keep asking myself.... can i get a rest... and its always....uh uhm... no. I am sleeping in an hour extra tomorrow. ill give myself that much.

oh // I gots dedicated internet and cable now. like im going to watch the cable. ok i might partake on specific little things.. but it can not affect my work. period. still gotta get my hair cut and new glasses or at least these fixed too. Car still not working, waiting for school moneys.

look at biscuits and jam... they are into the meme as well.






i need sleep blah!

woohoo.. dragoncon...




and im NOT going. I suck. one set of friends moving tomorrow(had fun with them tonight). Roomate out friday. and my best bud cant come down now. Lovely. Ill just keep working on armor. The labor of love...or is it the love of labor. Who knows. This better pay off in the future.

im going to bed.

I don’t why im depressed today. Maybe it’s all this damn rain and feeling of captivity. Been busy working on davids armor since measurements and the manniquin have rolled in. I hope to get his stuff done before classes starting on Sept 15. I want to be done with it.
While I’ve been waiting for the measurements to get here I started my review material. I hammered away mon and tues all day into the night getting a rough notebook ready so that I would at least know what I want in the final book. Then it hit me how well they want it done. IT”S YOUR CANDIDACY REVIEW. THEY WANT GOLD.
So since then Ive been trying to shorten that ugly note book. Its not as thick as the one for my conditional review I had last summer. Thank god it cost me $150 to photocopy 4 notebooks worth of stuff and that was with a $50 discount. So im despretly cutting this one down a lot. But it’s hard to do that when they state “ they want supporting material”.
So the most important stuff will be made into a DVD booklette like you find in special editions and stuff. It will cover infor for the DVD samples and other important material.
Then I will make a basic notebook to go with it. It will be there incase they want to look at the supporting material. But I want this thing bare bones. Talking ½ inch thick or less bare bones not the 2 ½ inches thick it is now. I gotta condense.
Im still working on the Statement of Purpose to go with it. I have one page done. It can be up to three.. but the less you say with the greatest skill.. the better.
All of this is geared to show what I’ve learned, my plans for my thesis and my plans after school. To fit in my armor/costumeing stuff.. a friend suggested making a custom case. It will be tough but I will consider it, after Im done with the other stuff. Heck I had an idea an hour ago about it..but I have to put it aside for now.

Im guessing my depression today is mostly due to the fact I will not be able to attend Dragoncon. I’ve been 5 years in a row and enjoyed them all. But I have no finances. Pretty much my new roomate is mailing me first months rent early just so I can get by till my school loan in late Sept. Believe me I really wanted to go. REALLY REALLY. Mostly because the likelihood of me going next year is slim, because I will be working on my Thesis next summer. Im sorry guys that I can’t be there for puppetry, pirate drunkeness, ninja/lemur action, and general relaxing fun. I gotta cancel my room at the Marriot on Monday. Still hopeing $800 will fall from the sky with this rain between now and then. Yeah right. But a least fonso is still going to visit next weekend. So it's not so bleak.

todeo